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Episode 10: Body Positivity

Raise your hand if you haven’t always felt positive about your body? 🙋‍♀️ Do you ever wonder if you’re the only one who feels that way? Do you ever wonder how you got to this place where you dislike your body? Let’s have an honest conversation about body positivity and the struggle that comes with learning to love yourself- flaws and all!

Just a note that this is probably not an episode that you want to listen to around children as I dropped the f bomb and a few other words/topics that you may not want to explain to your kiddos. Happy listening!

Hi guys! Happy New Year! I’m so happy to be back with you for a new year of the podcast - Kelly and the Encouragers. I have had so much fun these last couple of months, being able to sit down with really fantastic individuals that are able to encourage us, empower us and motivate us to continue to reach for whatever goal we want, heal from any trauma that we’ve been through and tobe able to maybe even change the way that we view life.

And I was thinking about what I want to do for this year there are going to be some changes in the podcast. I'll explain a little bit more about that during the next episode but for now I want to talk about body positivity. Body positivity? And why would I want to talk about that? Okay let's be real, it's the new year. I heard the other day on the radio that 1/3 of Americans are trained to lose weight in the new year. Every single year. Every single year one third of Americans sets that New Year's resolution and so we are constantly bombarded with messages about needing to lose weight or gain your ideal body type, help yourself obtain this, you have to join my group for that or whatever it may be and there's nothing wrong with that.

I am a firm believer that we should take care of our body. I'm a firm believer that it's helpful for us, it's healing for our soul when we do things that feel good for us but I am not a believer in playing on people's insecurities.

I think unfortunately that is a lot of what is going on right now and I'm really not trying to hate on anyone again oh, I just want to be very clear I think it's really important to take care of your body but that's not what I'm talking about today. Today is body positivity.

Let’s see, what is body positivity? That is so hard to say, by the way. (laughing) I keep wanting to say potty positivity which, as I was talking with one of my co-workers, is not the same thing at all.

So - Body Positivity. What is it? In my mind, what I consider it, is an overall positive view of your body and your soul .So maybe you don’t love every single part of you but you’re able to appreciate and you’re able to counter those negative thoughts. So you appreciate you for you, you have an overall positive view meaning you may have some things you don’t necessarily love 100% but overall you feel pretty good about yourself.

Now, I added the soul part in there because I think it’s more than just feeling good about our body. I think that when you feel good about your body, that helps your soul. I’m going to sound really hippy-ish here but I do believe that when we’re in a better space in our life that we put off more positive energy into the world and I think that’s really beneficial for ourselves and others as well. And that’s where I think that it’s really connected is when you feel better about yourself you spiritually, in your soul, feel better as well. So, that’s just a little explanation of what, for me on what I think body positivity is.

Now you may Identify two other ways and that's absolutely okay. I mean you can Google an official definition and I can always do that for you if you want to. But for me it's more individualised. How will you know when you've reached that level where you feel positive about your body?

Maybe you already do and if you do that's fantastic.

Maybe you don't. Maybe you've been on this journey for a long time and you aren't even sure what to do or where to go or how to move forward. And that's what we're going to talk about today.

I have a question for you. If you’re not driving or doing something where it would be dangerous, I’d like you to close your eyes for a minute. Close your eyes and just really focus. When you think about all the women in your life - the women that are close to you, the women you look up to that supports you and encourages you, how many of those women have never once said a negative comment about their body?

What did you come up with? Because if you’re anything like me, or other ladies that I’ve talked to this about, we honestly could not think of a single person in our lives that is a woman that hasn’t said something negative about themselves.

I want you to do the same thing again - close your eyes. Let's think about the men in your lives. How many men in your lives have you heard say negative things about their bodies? Certainly not as many, huh? Maybe only a few? And isn’t that just crazy? We can’t think of one woman in our lives out of all the women that we love and all the women that have so much to offer in this world and we can’t think of one woman who hasn’t said one negative thing about her body? It’s just mind blowing to me!

And yet men...we have a hard time thinking about even one negative thing that a man said about himself. The most I can think of any man ever saying in my life, and I’m not surrounded by extremely self-centered people. I’m surrounded by really great men as well. But the most I can ever remember them saying maybe is, “Oh, I’m kind of getting a beer gut!” That’s it.

The things that (recording cut out here) are absolutely horrible - I shouldn’t eat that, I didn’t deserve that. I haven’t been taking care of myself. I mean there are so many things that women I love dearly are saying about themselves and that I’ve said about myself as well. But the men in my life - they don’t seem to have that problem.

So why? Why is that?

We’ll jump into that a little bit later. So I think it’s important to note that I heard recently that there’s an author, a motivational speaker, who’s name is Rachel Hollis. You certainly can look her up and learn more about her if you like. I talk about her from time to time. I like some of her work that she does at a conference for women is she gives women a list of basically traumas essentially that they’ve been through in their lives or negative things that they’ve said about themselves. After you complete this, you hand it down some. I don’t know how many people but some people. And then she reads a question and if somebody, whatever paper you have that person is marked that they agree with that statement or they agree with that, then you raise your hand. So, going all through this form there’s people here and there and she got to the statement, “I hate my body.” Not I dislike my body, not there are certain parts of my body that I don’t love - I hate my body. And almost every single woman stood up. Almost every single woman in that room hated their body. This is such a huge issue in our society right now and for us individually. I wonder if you have thoughts on why? Why is it harder for women to love their bodies than men?

I thought we’d talk a little bit about that.

One of the first things I believe it truly boils down to is shame. I recently saw a video about a woman who had developed a company that makes vibrators and difference essentially sex toys for women to explore their sexuality and she wanted to put an advertisement in the New York subways, right? So that's all she wanted to do was put up an advertisement. Now this did not have any make an appointment, this is not have anything that was inappropriate, it didn't have anything that looks like boobs or anything like that. There was nothing that could be misconstrued in that. And she was denied. This isn't a lady that was out there promoting any kind of negative lifestyles or anything like that. What she is trying to do is trying to offer to women that we don't need to be ashamed of our sexuality. And she was denied.

What was so interesting and what literally makes me laugh is that very same day in the subway there was a cactus shaped penis on the subway to advertise medications for men with ED.

So you can’t put something up for women that would be supportive of their sexuality but you’re able to do that for men and it’s not a problem?

I mean, legitimately...a penis shaped cactus? Come on guys. (laughing) I’m sure you can understand how ridiculous it is that you’re not able to put up a classy advertisement for women because it has anything to do with women’s sexuality but yet you can put that for a man.

So I think that’s one part of things is that women, truly, are shamed. I don’t think it just has to do with sexuality. Take a look at the last commercial that you’ve seen about a period. Oh my goodness, they are ridiculous. Or shaving our legs. You shave your legs and suddenly you’re going to be on a beach running and having fun and life is so grand? Or because you have this tampon, you can do more in your life? I don't know about you but is it really that simple? Because I don't think that it is. I don’t know a single woman that is out there like, “Woohoo, this is the best thing ever! I’m going to be on the beach! I’m going to be loving life because I have a certain tampon in or I was able to shave my legs or whatever that might be!” It’s just completely insane that instead of just being so real, we are so shamed by keeping everything so secretive. I’m not saying that we have to have commercials that are really graphic or disgusting or anything like that. I just think it says a lot about our society.

So if you’ve heard any women that you admire that are talking negatively about themselves, you start to wonder if you should feel negative about yourself as well. That’s the next part of it. That’s the next part of shame.

Let’s say you really look up to your mom or your aunt or whoever that may be and you just think they’re amazing. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen those interviews where they ask the kids questions about their mom’s and they tell their mom’s how great they are or the spouses explain what their significant other looks like - they’re always viewed in such a positive light and yet women see themselves in such a negative light. If you’ve heard somebody that you’ve admired so much as a child talk so negatively about themselves and you feel like they’re so important in your life, you do start to wonder, “Is there something wrong with me? Is there something that I need to be ashamed of? I need to lose weight.”

A while back on Facebook, a post had popped up and apparently I remembered it after I read it but I kind of forgot this happened. I was in a dressing room and a mom and her daughter were trying on clothes and the mom was really berating the daughter and being super negative about her body and it was so bad I truly wanted to interrupt. I almost interrupted this mom and daughter and said, “Hey, it’s not my business but the way that you’re talking to her, she’s going to internalize that. She’s going to take that with her. And I know that you’re coming from a place of love and you think you’re being really supportive and helpful but that negative way of approaching it is not helpful.” And very likely that mother feels that way about herself. That’s the point I’m trying to get at. We learn shame from others who feel shame. Bottom line. And that’s why I think it’s so important that we watch what she say around children. I really do. And others as well. If somebody is constantly surrounded by negative statements and feelings and thoughts you really embrace that because that’s what you know. It’s good to be aware of the fact that a lot of times shame is taught. That means that if we’re teaching shame, we have the ability to stop that. And that parts pretty cool, if I do say so.

So that’s one portion of things. Another portion of things is that obviously I’m sure we can all identify with this - there is a ridiculous beauty standard level right now. It’s always been bad for as long as I can remember and I think that women in Hollywood or anyone really that’s famous a lot of times people right now are really trying to combat that by starting movements about not wearing so much makeup or not being photoshopped. There are some really great resources that I’ve been able to find which I can always share if you’re interested. There are movements to help women understand that while someone may look flawless in a magazine or may look flawless in an instagram post or Facebook or whatever that might be, that’s just not the case. We’re all flawed and that’s okay. We don’t have to be perfect. But I think that when we’re bombarded constantly then go through Instagram, go through Facebook and start looking for advertisements that pop up or people that you follow. How often are you bombarded with these ridiculous beauty standards that are literally impossible for anybody to meet. There are so few people that are able to meet those types of standards and even those people are going to extremes to meet them. It’s just mind blowing.

You see ads that say let me help you lose twenty pounds to be the person that you really are. Let me help you find the perfect makeup so you have no beauty marks. Let me show you how to get the perfect beach waves in your hair which, by the way, I do love those. I will admit that.

But how many times have you tried something like that? You watch a video, I don’t know if anyone ever watched makeup videos. I don’t even wear much makeup to be honest but I love makeup videos. They’re super fascinating! And people are really talented! They really are! So, I’m certainly not hating on makeup videos. I love those. But have you ever watched one of those and and then you try it on yourself and you’re like “Oh my God, what is this?” I mean I’ve done that with even curling my hair where I’m like, “That looks like a really great way to do that! Maybe I should try that!”

No. It almost never ends up being a good idea because those people have talent and skills and they practice. That’s the main thing is that they’ve practiced a lot. It’s kind of like those pinterest fails, right? It’s like this is what you were going for and this is what it ends up looking like and it’s a complete fail. It’s not that you’re not good enough or that you didn’t try hard enough. It’s that that person probably practiced fifty times before they took those perfect pictures. That celebrity that looks like their very slim or they have perfect skin or their tan is amazing - they probably took seventy five angles before they got the perfect picture or what they thought was the perfect picture.

So, how can we meet that or even match that? We don't’ have endless hours in the day. Right there...right there we’re set up for a ridiculous beauty standard that we can never achieve. Doesn't mean that we're not enough. It doesn't mean that we're not enough so let's talk about how this can happen in our lives. We are going to go throughout our whole lives starting at childhood how do you start having issues with body positivity? Now we touched on this a little bit earlier. Sometimes it can come from somebody in our lives that makes comments about our appearance that makes comments about even the way that we carry ourselves it could be adults in our lives truly not say things they don't think are hurtful. Truly the majority of people I'm not trying to hurt you but your interpretation of it maybe something so negative that you hold on to that I'm not really becomes almost your identity.

the other part I think in childhood is that kids are just jerks. not all the time. Not every moment. Kids are also super fantastic. Think back to your childhood. Can you honestly tell me you are never a jerk? I don't believe it. You were, I was, everyone I know was a jerk at one point or another. Ask my friend Katie; one time I pinched her and left a bruise for absolutely no reason! Sorry Katie, if you ever listen to this. It’s just insane that we think that when we’re children other people have been so harsh to us but maybe we have also done that. I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. I’m just saying that to explain how this could happen. We have had an impact on it as well. Not to say that we’re bad people or we have had terrible intentions - we were just kids saying something that we thought maybe in the moment wasn’t hurtful but we didn’t think it was going to have long term effects. Who thought past, “What’s for lunch?” or “Oh, we’re going to play this for gym!” or “How do I get out of the mile?” I know you hear me everyone who got out of the mile with me in high school! (laughing) So, that is like as far as we thought. We didn’t think about the impact of our words. Let’s be real - bullying is real. And it’s happened for years. It’s not something new even though it has a main focus now.

All of that being combined; kids being jerks, adults saying things to us, people that are close in our lives, bullying that can happen, talking about appearance because let’s be real, it’s an easy target! You can see somebody’s body more so than you can see their feelings or their thoughts or their skills. It’s an easy target. So all of that combined in childhood - we have all of that going against us. In our teenage years obviously relationships start and people start dating more often than not. A lot of times we can almost feel unworthy if somebody that we like doesn’t like us back. We can start to wonder why that is and for some reason as women because we have had so many people say negative thing surrounding us so that it’s embedded into us so much we tend towards thinking that we're not pretty enough or we weight too much or that were not popular enough - whatever that might be during the teen years. We often compare our perceived flaws to our friends or to other people that we know and we just pick at it in our mind. We just picked out these perceived flaws that are often times are not even there.

The other day I was sitting with a few co-workers and we were talking about a new skin care line that I have been using. Not going to try to sell you anything, don’t worry. That’s not the purpose of me telling you this. I just want to be clear. We were talking about it and I said, “You know, I just feel like I want my undereyes to not seem so dark anymore.” And they were like, “Oh, really? You can’t even see them that much.” I thought they were just saying that, I’ll be honest. But then I thought, “You know what? It’s probably accurate. I probably notice them because it’s a part of me and it bothers me.” But other people probably don’t notice it as well. Yeah, there’s a little bit of darkness under my eye. Who the hell cares really? It’s not going to be a life or death situation. But to me that perceived flaw is so obviously to people when it’s just not. The reality is people aren’t really thinking about us, to be honest. I hate to break it to you. If you haven’t heard that before, I’m going to say it again.

A majority of the time, people are not thinking about us. People are not thinking about our flaws. We are thinking about our flaws. We are pointing out our flaws. We sometimes have difficulty getting past those. But a lot of times, we’re being harsher on ourselves than other people are as well.

So, as an adult...let’s think about how, as an adult, body positivity issues can happen. Maybe your significant other puts down your body. If they do, I would really recommend that you talk with somebody about that. Bring it to their attention. Talk to a friend, a threapist, whoever because that’s just not cool to be surrounded by somebody that you love that treats you poorly or says negative things to you like that. I could go on and on and on about that to be honest with you. I won't, but just know that you are supported in whatever you choose, whatever you need. You’re absolutely supported.

As an adult it could be as simple as somebody that you consider to be skinny or fit or really pretty. It could be them making comments like, “I’m only going to eat a salad today because I really vegged out the other night.” when maybe you know that you had pizza and chips for dinner and now you’re feeling like, “Oh, I’m so fat. I’m so fat if my skinny friend is only going to eat a salad, now I have to eat a salad.” And maybe you don’t want a salad. Maybe you want a cheeseburger. I don’t know. Maybe you wanted a grilled chicken sandwich! But for whatever reason you don’t feel comfortable having that because now your friend has said that they have to watch themselves and what they’re doing. You can internalize that. Now, I just want to be clear, I’m not saying that it is other people’s fault for the way that you view yourself or them wanting to be aware of how they’re taking care of their body. That’s fine. That’s totally cool, you know? Awesome for them. But I think the way that we perceive it, interpret it and really embed that into us is what’s problematic so that’s why I’m using some examples, to help you get that. I’m guessing for the majority of you listening that you have at some point in your life wanted to order something out to eat when maybe you went out with your girlfriends but you didn’t because you were afraid of how that might look if other people were ordering other things. Maybe not. Maybe you’ve never had that experience and if not, you go girl! I’m glad you haven’t!

But maybe you have.

Another issue I think with body positivity that I think it's just mind-blowing... almost cursed there... I'm trying to watch my cursing. (laughing) What is mind-blowing is that people feel like they can comment on women's bodies. How...I’m just going to say fucking weird is that? What is it about society that makes you think you can comment on somebody's body? I was talking with a friend who is pregnant and is due soon and I was saying to her, “Isn't it just weird that when you're pregnant people start talking about if you're too big, if you're too small, if you're showing, if you're dropping, if you're close to it, if you're this, if you're that?” You're not going to go up to somebody randomly and say, “Wow, you look like you're big right now!” or should I say you look like you're getting smaller or, “Wow, it's about time you know? You're not going to go up to somebody who isn't pregnant and say stuff like that so why on Earth would you think that you can comment on a pregnant woman's body? That's insane! Pregnancy is not an invitation to be an asshole. It’s just not. That’s something to keep in mind. If you want to say something to somebody who is pregnant or who is postpartum, say you look really beautiful or you look great. you look so happy. How about this one? You are such a good mom. Let's not even focus on the physical appearance. Let's focus on the fact that this person just had a child and a child as wonderful and that parent is wonderful. Change your focus. Truly.

Other times people are commenting on women's bodies? Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, whatever it may be - it’s literally insane. So somebody post a picture of themselves maybe the ankle is different maybe they have lost 10 or 20 pounds, whatever that may be and immediately they're ripped apart. So that person is either too fat or too skinny, too ugly, too fake this has been photoshopped, there is a squiggly line in the back. It's never ending. So someone works really hard for their body and they’re proud of that and they put that on their and they’re ripped apart for photoshopping that. Someone’s comfortable with themselves, loves themselves and doesn’t really give a shit what anybody else says and shares a beautiful picture of themselves...they’re ripped apart. Do you see the trend? It doesn’t matter if you’re fit or you’re not or you work out or you don’t or you feel emotionally healthy or you don’t. Literally, none of that matters. At some point somebody is going to determine that you’re too much of something. There literally is no winning if that’s what you’re going for. If you’re thinking you’re going to post the perfect picture that nobody makes a negative comment about, it’s just not realistic. People can kind of be assholes. Just remind yourself - that is a reflection of them and what they are going through in that moment, not a reflection of you. You do not need to own their shit. That’s their shit. Put it back on them. You do not need to own it. Remind yourself of that.

I heard, I think it was Jen Hatmaker once that said, “You are inviting these people into your world.” Like on Facebook - the people that you’re friends with, you’re inviting them into your world. Let’s pretend that this is your house? So Facebook is your house - just follow me here - FaceBook is your house. You've invited these people over to your house. Are you going to let someone be mean and nasty in your house and not kick them out? No! If someone is breaking shit, if someone is beating you up, whether verbally, emotionally, physically, whatever it may be - you are not going to let this person stay in your house so why on earth would you allow them to stay in your social media? This is your party, not theirs. Don’t allow them to show up. If they’re going to be assholes, then they’re gone. That’s just the end of it. You don’t need that type of negativity in your life.

So, what are some other ways to combat body positivity issues?

One of the main ones is challenging those negative thoughts. I’ll be real - this is the hard one because you have to first start being aware of your negative thoughts. They can be so ingrained in you that it might take you a while to notice. If you really struggle and you’re not catching those, you can ask your trusted friends and family to point that out to you. I would just make sure that if you do that, you know that someone who’s coming from a loving place, not someone who’s just pretending to.

That may be your significant other, that may be your sister, that may be a great aunt, that may be whoever. It’s somebody to help you through that. So, identify those and then challenge those.

Let’s say you don’t like your arms. You never want to wear sleeveless stuff. I totally get that! I actually don’t really love my arms. But my goodness, am I going to let that stop me from living my life? No. I’m not going to. And so, if I think to myself, “I don’t love my arms. I don’t think they look in this, whatever this might be, I will say something to myself like, “but I feel confident in this” or “I may not love my arms but today my hair looks fantastic.” or, “I may not feel very good about myself today but today I’m a good person. Today I can help change someone’s life and so can you! It doesn’t have to be replacing a negative thought about your body with a positive thought about your body. If that’s too hard for you to begin with, focus on other things because it all plays a part and that’s what I’m trying to get you to really see is that it all plays a part in things. Lift yourself up in one area, lift yourself up in another. Just like I love to think about when somebody else is doing well in their lives, that’s not a competition for you. Something that’s good for them is good for us all. Think about it like if lets say somebody has a best seller book and maybe that’s something you’ve always wanteds. There may be a little envy in there but that book has gone on to help thousands or millions of people. You may not love that book but you might be able to appreciate the fact that it’s helped us all. One of us rising helps us all rise so keep that in mind.

The next one is I don’t really want to say it...okay, I’m just going to say it. Just tell the haters to fuck off. I don’t really like the term “haters” to be honest with you but that is the best term to summerize anyone who is just nasty in your life. Just tell them to fuck off. I’m sorry I’m dropping the “f bombs.” I do have some family that listenes to this. I apologize. BUT! It’s how I really feel. And I’ve said from the beginning that I was going to try to be as honest as I could be. Tell people who are assholes to fuck off.

Okay, next thing.

Elimiante interactions with other people who speak negatively about their body or your body. If somebody is constantly speaking negativity about your body, then you have the option to choose if you have that person in your life. Now, I’m really going to go out on a limb and make sure that you understand that I truly believe this, I don’t care if this is your family member that you feel obligated to have in your life. If that person is not health for you, you can put up those clear boundaries. You have the ability to do that. If you’re an adult, you have the ability to choose. It is so much easier for me to say that then for you to implement that, I will be honest with you but you can do it. I know that you can.

The other part of things is that if somebody around you is constantly talking negative about their own body you may pick up on that. I'm sure you have heard the phrase you are who you spend time with so if they're talking negative about themselves all the time, you're going to most likely that you're going to pick that up. Do you really want that question mark is that beneficial for you? It's not that you have to not be friends with that person but is it important to put in a good boundary or to even, if they are a really good friend of yours, would they be willing to have that feedback? Hey I've really noticed that you have been saying a lot of really negative things about yourself and I love you and I value and I treasure you and your friendship. I want to know if there is a way that I can help because right now those negative things that you're saying about yourself are infecting me as well and I want to be there to support you because I don't want you to feel like I felt before. That loving approach to make a big difference truly. If they're not willing to hear it, if they're not willing to hear that their negative thoughts are impacting others or that they're really impacting themselves that's okay. You can just know that you talk to them about it and from there it is their decision, right?

Another thing to combat is negative thoughts it's just things that make you feel good. Whatever that may be for you. One thing is you can find clothes that fit in your closet and everything that doesn't donate it if you can what's the rest of it away. Go back to episode three - I had Mandy Webengay on from Fashion Unfolded by Mandy and she talks you through that process. Honestly that has been one of the biggest game-changers for me is to know that when I go in the closet every single thing said that I don't have to feel bad when I try something on if it doesn't fit. If something changes and suddenly I don't know maybe a sweater is too big or too small or jeans don't fit - whatever that may be - I get rid of them. what does it means to sell them or donate them at whatever. They're gone because it's not helpful for me. It doesn't breathe positivity into my life in the morning if I can't find clothes that's it. Now I realize that it's tough what times with finances so I'm not saying you have to throw out your entire wardrobe. If you have to wear some things that don't really fit you well for a while that's okay. If you are able to find places, we have a place called Clothes Mentor in Fargo that has some really great X brand name things that are highly discounted. You can try that or Goodwill, whatever it may be, to find some clothes that are reasonable. But it makes a huge difference. It makes you feel good about yourself to know that you have options. You can get a massage, you can learn a new skill. I have friend that went to an art class, pottery class actually and it just sounded so neat to see what they were doing. Even just to see the pictures and hear about it was really awesome. So learn a skill like that. Try a new writing prompts. See where your writing takes you. Record a podcast or record a live video on Facebook. Write down your hopes and dreams. Whatever it maybe that makes you feel good about yourself.

The last thing is refused to buy into the bullshit. just refuse it if you don't fit someone standards again that's a reflection of that. Please please please do not take that on. Remember that you are enough and that you are worthy just how you are. You don't have to change yourself. You don't have to reach a certain hyzaar reach a certain following on social media, whatever that may be, before you can feel good about yourself. Feel good about yourself now. Because you're amazing! Seriously! I wouldn't say that if I didn't believe it.

Now a few fun facts before we wrap this up there are some books that I have to tell you about. You probably have heard about Dumplin’. it was actually been made into a movie. My sister told me about the movie or I believe that my sister told me about the book so I decided to read the book...well, audio, but listen to the book first. So Dumplin’ is by Julie Murphy and what I think is so great about Dumplin’ and the next book put in which I really hope they make into a movie as well is that some of the characters are overweight, some are not. But they all have things that they struggle with. What I love is that they’re not trying to change themselves. Trying to change in positive ways, absolutely. But they’re accepting of their ways and where they’re at. I love that. Both of those book are great messages about body positivity and quite honestly, if you just want an interesting movie to watch that has a great message, Dumplin’ is hilarious.

Those are few thoughts that I have. Julie Murphy, you can follow her on Instagram. I don't know if she has FaceBook. I follow her on Instagram. She’s really inspirational. That is something you could check out as well. There are other podcasts too. I’m not 100% sure so I don’t want to tell you wrong but I believe there’s a podcast called Body Positivity, now that I think of it, or Body Kindness maybe. I’ll definitely get that for you so we can have those links for you but it is really great as well. There are some good resources out there. If you do need additional support, you can always reach out to me. Just send me a little message if you need something. But if this is something that has been trouble for you throughout your whole life and you’ve really had a hard time getting a good grasp of it and being able to work through that, there are definitely options. You can seek therapy, you can talk to a friend, you can read books, you can do whatever you want, by all means.

I just want you to know that you don’t have to stay stuck in those negative feelings and thoughts. In the New Year, it can be really hard to avoid those. Maybe you can do what I do and that’s on Facebook - I just hide any ads or any post from anyone that isn’t giving positivity to my life. If it’s not essentially what I would call feeding my soul, it’s out of here. It just has to be because I want to protect my mental health more than I want to protect somebody who I don’t even know online. They’re not going to care if you’re not following it or if you don’t follow an ad. They’re just not going to be focused on that.

You do what you need to do for yourself but know that it is possible for you to feel positive about yourself. It is possible for you to love yourself. I know that I’ve had quite a journey through this and I’m sure I will continue to have a journey through life.

But hey! We’re all in this together! I’ll see you next week!

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